The One Thing Top Negotiators Always Do (and You Probably Don’t)
Winning the deal isn’t about talking. It’s about control — and control starts with calm.
Let’s be real: most salespeople crumble the second a customer pushes back.
The minute someone says, “That’s too expensive,” or “I want to think about it,” they panic. Their voice tightens, their body language shifts, and they start scrambling to save the deal.
I know — I used to do it.
It took me years to realize that panic is the exact moment you lose control.
Because top negotiators? They don’t flinch.
They breathe. They listen. They wait.
And in that silence, they win.
Calm Is Contagious — So Is Chaos
Chris Voss said it best: “When you control your emotions, you control the situation.”
The opposite is also true. Lose your composure, and you hand the steering wheel to the customer.
When I first started learning this, I forced myself to slow everything down.
Instead of rushing to fill the silence after a price objection, I’d pause. I’d nod. I’d say something like,
“I completely understand — help me out, what’s holding you back the most?”
Then I’d shut up.
That pause does something powerful. It creates space. And in that space, the truth shows up.
Most customers will start talking themselves right into the deal — because they’re not being sold, they’re being heard.
Silence Is the Most Underrated Tool in Sales
Everyone’s afraid of silence. It feels awkward. Uncomfortable.
But the silence after an objection is where trust is built.
When you rush to fill the space with another pitch or discount, you break that trust. You tell the customer you’re nervous, and nervous doesn’t sell.
Here’s the trick:
When the customer talks, you listen fully.
When they finish, pause before replying.
When you speak, lower your voice slightly and slow down.
That combination changes everything. You project confidence without arrogance.
You come across as someone who’s been here before — because you have.
Empathy Is a Weapon — Use It Right
Tactical empathy isn’t about agreeing with someone. It’s about understanding their position so well that they relax.
It’s the difference between saying,
“Yeah, I get it, you want a lower payment,”
and saying,
“It sounds like staying within budget is really stressing you out right now.”
That second one hits different. It tells them you’re not trying to win — you’re trying to understand.
And when people feel understood, they stop fighting.
The Game: Lead Without Pushing
Top negotiators don’t overpower conversations; they guide them.
Here’s how to do it like a pro:
Mirror, don’t mimic. Repeat the last 2–3 words of what they say to keep them talking.
Customer: “I just don’t want a high payment.”
You: “A high payment?”
Boom — they’ll keep explaining.Label emotions. “It sounds like you’re worried about getting stuck with the wrong deal.”
It disarms tension instantly.Stay calm. If they get loud, you go quiet. It flips the dynamic and pulls them toward your energy.
Never rush the ‘yes.’ The best deals are built on understanding, not pressure.
Real Talk: You’re Not Losing Deals Because of Price. You’re Losing Them Because You’re Nervous.
Customers can feel uncertainty like heat coming off pavement.
When your tone shakes, your hands fidget, or your words speed up — they feel it.
They don’t trust it.
But when you stay calm? When you slow the tempo and let silence do the heavy lifting?
You flip the power dynamic instantly.
TASR Truth
“The calmest voice in the room controls the conversation.”
Control isn’t about aggression. It’s about presence.
It’s about being steady when everyone else gets emotional.
So next time a customer pushes back, remember this: you don’t need to fight for control — you just need to keep it.
Breathe. Listen. Pause. Let silence sell.
Take Action. See Results.
