If You Want a Better Life, Audit Your Circle

(A Story About Outgrowing People You Never Thought You’d Leave Behind)

There’s a moment in your life when you look around the room — the people you call friends, the people you text every day, the people who shaped your habits — and you realize:

You’re growing.
They’re not.

And that realization hits harder than any failure ever could.

The Night I Realized I Was Surrounded… But Not Supported

Years ago, before the dealership success, before leadership roles, before books and TASR and all the rebuilding… I sat in a bar with the same group of guys I grew up with.

We were laughing, talking the same trash we’d talked for years.
Same stories.
Same complaints.
Same dreams that never made it past the bar napkin.

At one point, someone said,
“Chris, man… why are you always working? Relax. You’re doing too much.”

Everyone laughed.

But I didn’t.

Because deep down, I knew exactly what was happening:

I was trying to climb.
They wanted me to stay where they were.

Not because they were bad people.
Because if I climbed, they’d have to admit they weren’t.

And staying the same is always easier than leveling up.

Comfort Has a Social Circle Too

People don’t realize their circle is shaping them quietly:

• Your friends normalize your laziness or your discipline.

• They influence whether you grow or coast.

• They reward your excuses or challenge them.

• They either pull you forward or pull you back.

And the dangerous part?

It happens slowly.
Subtly.
Comfortably.

You become the average of the people you’re around without even noticing it.

That night at the bar, I finally noticed.

The Pushback Always Comes From the People Who Aren’t Moving

When I started changing — grinding harder, showing up early, setting goals, becoming serious about my future — I thought the people around me would be proud.

They weren’t.

I got the classic lines:

“You’re different.”
“You’re obsessed.”
“You care too much about work.”
“Money isn’t everything.”
“You think you’re better than us now?”

And at first, I felt guilty.
I felt wrong for wanting more.

But the truth is simple:

People who aren’t willing to grow will always judge the ones who are.

It’s easier to criticize ambition than to build some.

The Pain of Outgrowing People You Love

When I finally started moving up — promotions, leadership roles, better income — those friends slowly faded.

Not because I cut them off.

Because our values no longer matched.

I wasn’t interested in drinking every weekend.
I wasn’t interested in complaining about life instead of fixing it.
I wasn’t interested in being the same person year after year.

Growth creates distance.

And that’s not your failure — it’s your evolution.

Your Circle Determines Your Ceiling

Here’s a hard truth I wish someone told me sooner:

You cannot outgrow your environment.
You can only leave it.

The moment I started surrounding myself with:

• people who set goals

• people who pushed themselves

• people who weren’t threatened by ambition

• people who challenged me

• mentors who had what I wanted

• leaders who demanded more from me

…my life changed at a speed I wasn’t ready for.

I leveled up because the room required it.
I became better because staying average no longer felt acceptable.

Your circle sets your standard.
Your standard sets your life.

Who You Keep Determines Who You Become

If you want a better body, hang around people who train.
If you want better finances, hang around people who manage money well.
If you want to grow mentally, hang around people who think bigger.
If you want to become disciplined, hang around disciplined people.

And if you want to stay exactly the same?

Stay around the people who normalize the things you say you want to change.

The Audit You Avoid Is the One That Can Save Your Life

Here’s the part that stings:

Some people aren’t meant to come with you.
Some chapters require new characters.
Some seasons require new standards.

Every major breakthrough in my life — career, income, mindset, confidence — happened after I changed my circle.

Every setback dragged on longer because I didn’t.

Audit your circle.
Protect your energy.
Choose people who force you to rise.

Life is hard enough —
don’t surround yourself with anchors when you were built to climb.

Take action.
See results.
And build a future with people who want to build theirs too.